Rod of Disaster
by Bando26
Summary: What will the Federation do with the disasterous rod that will cause the destruction of earth?


**Rod of Disaster**

Once upon a time, Captain Picard and Captain Kirk were playing together on the seesaw in the Enterprise's playground. Since Captain Kirk weighed so much more, Captain Picard had to push really hard to get up in the air. Meanwhile, LaForge was pushing Worf on the swing set when suddenly, he pushed too hard, and LaForge went flying through the air. "Whoa!" he yelled.

"Oh, quit being a baby," Worf yelled across the playground. He walked over and helped LaForge up.

"You two," Captain Picard yelled from the seesaw, "Be nice, or I'll put you on janitorial duty."

"No, don't!" Worf screamed. "I don't wanna!"

Suddenly, the intercom's voice came over the P.A. system. "Everybody, get back to work."

Captains Kirk and Picard whined resignedly, got off the seesaw, and walked through the door. Surprisingly, it opened _automatically_.

Captain Picard took his seat in the Captain's Chair, and Captain Kirk took the other Captain's Chair. Data walked over to Captain Picard. "It would appear that we are under attack by the Federation," he said in his robovoice.

"Put them on the big screen TV," Picard ordered Data.

"Affirmative," Data said to Picard.

On the big screen, the Federation appeared. "What we have here is a magic space rod that can make anybody do anything we want!" one guy said, holding a glowing wand.

"Oh no!" said LaForge.

"Give us those space rods!" Kirk said.

"No. We are going to use them to make the earth blow up."

Captain Picard was furious. "Fine. If you're not going to give it to us, we're just going to have to go over there and get it from you."

Captain Picard and Captain Kirk walked over to the Teleport Circles. "Beam us over, Scotty!"

LaForge pulled the trigger, and they all got teleported over to Federationland.

Unfortunately, they got teleported too high and fell to the ground.

"Oof!" Kirk said as he hit the ground.

"Well," Picard said under his breath, "This must be the place," he said under his breath.

Captain Kirk took out his TurtleComm and called LaForge and Worf, and said, "We're here. We're going to look for the Federates and find that magic space rod."

"Okay, hurry up. You're wasting time," Worf said. He looked very angry.

Kirk looked over at Picard. "Come on, let's find that magic space rod!"

"The Federation is over that way," Picard said, waving his hand in no general direction.

"_Which_ way?" Kirk asked, confused by Picard's vague actions.

"Oh, I don't know. Let's ask the local people on these streets."

"WAIT!" Kirk said, "That reminds me! We're still wearing our Star Trek clothes—we totally stick out here like a sore thumb! We need to dress like the native people to disguise ourselves!"

"There!" Picard said, pointing vaguely at a clothesline.

They ran over. There was a pair of overalls and a dress. Captain Picard got stuck with the dress while Kirk put the overalls over his normal clothes.

A native guy walked by them. Picard grabbed him by the scruffy of his neck. "Where's the Federation guys?" he asked, questioningly.

"In the Sky Palace!" the native guy replied, pointing up in the air.

Picard and Kirk arrived in the Sky Palace. "Hey, you!" the lead Federate said.

"What?" Kirk replied.

"I need you to go away! Or else!"

"Give us the magic space rod!" Captain Pikard said, grabbing onto the magic space rod.

"NEVER!" the Federate said, pulling the space rod back. "Turn into a chicken!" he said chantingly, and suddenly, _poof!_ Picard turned into a chicken.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Kirk said, running over to the Federate guy, bopping him on the head with his lightsaber.

The Federate guy instantly blew up.

Kirk grabbed the magic space rod, and with a flick toward Picard, said, "Turn into Picard!"

Suddenly, Picard turned into normal Picard.

"We've saved the day!" Picard sang.

When they returned to the Enterprise, everyone was glad to see them.

"Hurrah!" they all said.

That night, they all decided to have a candlelit victory dinner in the cafeteria chamber to celebrate.

"We saved the world again!" Kirk said cheerily.

Captain Picard picked around the mushrooms in his space salad.

Data happily ate his oil and lug nuts.

Worf refused to eat his spinach.

"If you don't eat your spinach," Picard threatened, "you don't get any dessert."

"I don't want dessert!" Worf said.

"Yes you do!" Picard said. "It's applesauce!"

They all ate their victory dinner, and slept very heavily that night.

The end


End file.
